Mental Health & Mentors

Image by Nadir sYzYgY on Unsplash

The month of May seems to be the time when we are reminded of our mental health.

We had Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK last week, in the USA the focus lasts for the whole month, whilst this week is European Mental Health Week.

Ten years ago, my mental health was pretty poor and I ended up having a massive burnout.

So the topic remains of high interest, not only to keep my own mind healthy, but also to help my loved ones, my clients and all those in my network, look after their mental health.

Today I wanted to talk about the mental health of young people, as it has increasingly become a source of concern over the past few years.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration in the US routinely surveys around 17,000 teenagers, aged 12 to 17. The proportion of respondents who experienced a major depressive episode in the past year stood at 17.8% in 2023, after peaking at 20.5% during Covid.

The overall trend since 2009, for both experiencing a depressive episode (more than doubled) and receiving treatment (nearly quadrupled), is on the up.

In the UK, NHS figures suggest that in 2023, one in five (20%) children and young people aged eight to 25 had a probable mental health disorder.

So what to make out of these figures, whether you are in your teenage / young adult years or whether you are the mum or dad of a teenager?

First of all, it’s really important to understand the difference between the emotional struggles we go through as we transition into adulthood, and serious mental health issues that need treatment.

Emotional struggles are part and parcel of adolescence. Prof Andrea Danese of King’s College explains: "Teenagers' brains don't develop all at once. The part that processes emotions matures earlier than the part responsible for self-control and good judgement. This means young people can feel things very intensely before they've fully developed the ability to manage those feelings, which helps explain some of the emotional ups and downs parents often see.”

Yet the obsession our modern society has with being happy has distorted our ability to handle what is in essence our reality as humans.

Happiness is transient.

We can only experience happiness in contrast to experiencing sadness.

We can only experience courage and boldness in contrast to fear and anxiety.

We can only experience peace and calm in contrast to anger and restlessness.

Everlasting happiness is an illusion, a pipe dream.

I get it, I know that now.

Still, I for one, need to keep applying myself and refrain from wanting to ‘fix’ my daughter the minute she feels sad because her friend told her she’s not her friend anymore (this happens every other day or so, then they patch up). And I need to remember that her PMS mood swings echo those I had before and during the menopause.

I can also tell you that at the age of 57, there are days when I feel deflated and dejected and would rather stay in bed, and there are days when my heart could burst with happiness and I have the energy and vitality to conquer mountains.

Drawing from my own experience, I can discern between what are the mere ups and downs of life and the signs of something more serious.

I’m sharing this article from the BBC with you, as it has useful tips to understand the difference between both, as well as some advice on how to stay mentally healthy.

When it comes to navigating the early years of adulthood with more ease and confidence and less emotional lows, I also advocate for considering the possibility of having a mentor.

I found myself listening again last week to a lecture from Jungian psychologist James Hollis, on the Legend of the Grail. It is a story that is over 800 years old in written form, and even older than that through the oral tradition.

The enduring popularity of this story, which tells of the trials and tribulations of young Percival, is attributed to the fact that it is a metaphor for what we all go through as we grow up, and our quest for some meaning in our life.

After Percival leaves his home and his mother, he encounters Gornemant, a wise old man that becomes his mentor and symbolically acts as the bridge between childhood and adulthood.

Let’s face it, when we grow up, the last person we want to listen to is our mum or our dad.

It’s a natural process, as we need to detach ourselves from our parents to become adults.

Yet as I touched on this earlier, this phase in our life is very unsettling, as we go through huge physical, mental, psychological and emotional changes.

That’s why having a mentor can be handy.

A mentor will guide you, they will be by your side as you leave home and walk your own path. They won’t tell you what to do, unless you ask them their opinion and advice.

If you prefer an image to get the idea of what a mentor does, think of them as a safety net when you start learning trapeze.

In talking through your challenges, you will gradually increase your confidence in tackling them by yourself. You will also gain more clarity about what’s next for you, what you want to achieve and how to get there.

In turn, you’ll have less worries and concerns, and you will be in a better place mentally and emotionally. This will give you more energy to keep going and become the person you want to be.

Sounds appealing? Then look for a mentor around you, or get in touch.

Together we can explore if I am the right fit for you.

Until then, stay healthy and shine your own light!

PS - if you’re not a fan of old stories like the Grail, watch Barbie the movie. Fe and I watched it again last night, there are some interesting parallels to draw 🙂